3 Reasons Why Adult Children of Divorce Need Eucharistic Adoration
“When you look at the Crucifix, you understand how much Jesus loved you then. When you look at the Sacred Host you understand how much Jesus loves you now.”- St. Teresa of Calcutta
Jesus Christ is truly present in the Eucharist. He is physically before us as we approach to receive communion and in the tabernacles and adoration chapels across the world.
Through Eucharistic Adoration, we are able to adore the Creator of the Universe and pray in the Real Presence of Our Lord Jesus Christ. What a gift!
Yet sometimes there is hesitancy and mystery around adoration. Can I really be in silent prayer for an hour? Can’t I just pray at home? Is Jesus really there?
Add in the anxiety of trying to relate to God the Father—which can be difficult for adult children of divorce —there can be a weight pulling you to stay away.
Despite this - you should go.
As an adult child of divorce myself, I’ve received much-needed healing in front of Jesus in Eucharistic Adoration, and many people I’ve met through the Life-Giving Wounds ministry have shared the same experience.
Here are just three reasons why adult children of divorce need Eucharistic Adoration.
It Builds Our Relationship with God
The Creator of the Universe desires a relationship with YOU. In Adoration, our Lord is truly present and He longs to spend time with you and show you what love truly is.
If you desire a real and lasting relationship with anyone, it requires spending time with them – sharing your hopes, fears, random thoughts, or silly jokes and then listening to the other person in return. It can be difficult to be so open and vulnerable, but you show up for those you love.
Adoration provides the sacred space and time to build a relationship with the One who loves you the most. It will take time. Maybe you start by dropping by to spend 15 minutes before the Lord. Maybe all you say is, “I don’t know why I am here,” or you read the Gospel of the day.
When you’re ready to share your heart He is ready to receive everything you have to give.
As a cradle Catholic, throughout my life I would find myself on a retreat and there would be a sign up for Adoration. Dutifully, I would take an hour and inevitably I would start with a Rosary and then pray for people in my life. My mind would wander (thinking about my work or my to-do list or just imagining what life would be in the future), and often I would be at a loss of what I was supposed to be saying through my prayer. Despite what was surely a deficiency on my part, I continued to show up to Adoration sometimes weekly or monthly.
2. It’s Transformative
If you make a commitment to spend one hour before the Lord, it will transform your life. In strengthening your relationship with the Lord, it will transform how you approach relationships with the people in your life.
When you know what love truly is –how it feels to be loved and love in return, how unconditional love is—you are transformed.
Our parents’ marriage should have been a model for us of what this love looks like. Their divorce shattered this model. The loss of the united love of our parents caused our foundations to split or even collapse. God the Father wants to fortify your foundations – so you can begin healing.
In my late 20s/early 30s, I longed for marriage. I prayed so sincerely during Adoration not only to meet my future husband but that I would be ready to meet him.
My prayers were as much for the desire to be married as they were begging God to help me not screw up. As much as I desired to get married and start a family, I was terrified that I would end up divorced. I worried that I would cause the same wounds to my future children that I see in all children of divorce – young and old.
Through every minute of prayer in Adoration, God was transforming me. In first being able to tell Him my desires and fears in my heart, it then enabled me to be open to speak them aloud to a trusted counselor and be willing to go on a Life-Giving Wounds retreat. At this same time, I had just started dating my future husband. God has a great sense of timing!
3. It’s Healing
Time does not heal all wounds (by itself). The wounds from our parents’ divorce have a lasting impact on who we are and how we relate to others. It doesn’t matter if the divorce happened when you were a child, in college, or an adult. It doesn’t matter if it happened a year ago or fifty years ago. The wounds are there and they hurt at unexpected times and in unexpected ways.
In going to Eucharistic Adoration, you allow the Divine Physician access to what you keep most guarded and to guide your life. You are inviting Him to help you reflect on what has been, so you can live your life not as a walking-wounded, but as fully integrated adult.
When Jesus appeared to the disciples after His resurrection, His wounds were still there. He could have shown His wounds to condemn the disciples—to push them away as unworthy. Instead, Jesus let Thomas put his hand in the wounds to erase any doubt, and to ease Thomas’ fear and shame. Jesus showed that his wounds - and what caused them – had no power over how He treated His beloved disciples.
During Adoration, put your pain and suffering in the wounds of Christ – He wants to take them from you. Your own wounds will still be there, but they will not control you or the relationships you have.
The balm of Adoration in my life cannot be understated. In the silence of Adoration I have shown my wounds to Christ. I have been able to reflect on what I have learned through Life-Giving Wounds and the experiences of being a daughter, sister, and (now) wife and mother.
The compassion and love I feel for my parents, siblings, and even myself, has only grown more sincere and stronger because I know the wounds. I am able to see where actions and words come from – a place love or woundedness – and respond. Not always perfectly or without pain, but at least with understanding.
A Unique Opportunity of Adoration for Adult Children of Divorce
Starting on May 31, 2021 – the 200th Anniversary of the dedication of the Basilica of the Assumption in Baltimore, Maryland, America’s first Catholic Cathedral, the Basilica will dedicate and open the Pope Saint John Paul II Eucharistic Adoration Chapel for perpetual adoration.
Each day adorers will unite, praying for a special intention.
Wednesday’s intention? For a Strengthening of our Marriages and Families and for the Healing of All Adult Children of Divorce. This intention was specifically chosen by our pastor Fr. James Boric, who is an adult child of divorce and alumni of Life-Giving Wounds. To our knowledge, this prayer intention for adult children of divorce is unique for perpetual Adoration Chapels around the world. We hope in a special way this Adoration Chapel can become a safe haven and one of immense blessings for adult children of divorce.
Adorers can even kneel before the Lord on the kneeler that Pope Saint John Paul II used when he visited the Basilica – and they will be praying for specifically for you. You will be in our prayers at this special chapel and we hope you will join us for Adoration – either at the Basilica of the Assumption or your home parish.
To sign-up or support Perpetual Eucharistic Adoration at the Basilica of the Assumption please visit www.americasfirstcathedral.org/adoration.
Ana C. Farias is the Director of Pilgrimages and Adoration at The Basilica of the National Shrine of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary--America’s first Catholic Cathedral. She serves on the board of Pregnancy Center North, a non-profit medical clinic providing free life-affirming services for women and their families in unexpected pregnancies. Ana is an adult child of divorce, and continues to find healing through the Eucharistic Adoration, the Sacraments, and Life-Giving Wounds resources. Ana lives in Baltimore, Maryland with her husband and son.