Advent 2025: First Sunday of Advent Reflection
As adult children of divorce and separation (ACODs), the loss of our parents’ love together can feel like the world is collapsing—as if the great flood has begun. Perhaps some of us feel like we are already drowning in it; maybe others have built a small raft or are clinging to a plank just to stay afloat.
The flood of emotions—the fear, the anxiety, the distrust, the silence, the ache of not belonging, everything—can feel like reason enough to build walls around our hearts. These walls may be built of self-protection, hardness, or numbness. But, these walls do more than just shield us from those who may have caused harm. They harden our hearts and shut out our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, who wants nothing more than to enter in, heal, and be one with us.
As we begin Advent, Jesus invites us to stay awake, to pay attention to the walls in our hearts, and to prepare a place for Him.
Let us imagine your heart as a castle. Castles have many layers of defense: drawbridges, moats, thick walls, and watchtowers.
If our hearts become fortified in this way, impenetrable even to Love itself, how will the King of our hearts enter in?
This week, as we begin the journey to Christmas, let us pray for the grace to lower the drawbridge, even just a little, so the King of Love can enter in.
Prayer:
Jesus, you search me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I stand. Every hair on my head is numbered; not one falls without your permission. Today, I ask for the grace to identify the defenses I have put up in response to my parents’ separation. Holy Spirit, illuminate the fortified walls of my heart and melt them away with your incandescent light. Help me know, in the depths of my heart, that I am safe, I am loved, I am worthy, and I belong. Amen.
About Fr. Alfredo:
Fr. Alfredo was ordained a priest of Jesus Christ in June of this year for the Diocese of Arlington in Virginia. Although he was trained as a mechanical engineer, he decided to quit his job in research with the Navy to enter the seminary and give his life to God and His Church. Today, he serves at St. William of York in Stafford and loves every day of his priesthood. Each day is new and there is always so much more to learn.
About the author:
Erin Fabian is a marketing and communications professional and an adult child of divorce who is passionate about supporting faith-based, mission-driven ministries. She encountered Christ’s healing love in college, beginning a deep journey of facing her wounds and rooting her identity in Him. Erin lives in Wilmington, NC, with her husband and is grateful to serve on the Life-Giving Wounds team, walking with fellow ACODs toward hope and healing.
Reflection Questions for Small Groups or Individuals:
Where do you find yourself in the flood of your parents’ separation? Are you struggling to stay afloat? Are you clinging to something for stability?
Imagine your castle. What do your layers of defense look like when the King of Love approaches? Do you recognize Him? Do you feel hesitant, guarded?
Where do you sense Jesus inviting you to “stay awake” in this season of Advent? What area of your heart is He asking you to pay attention?
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