Finding a Home with Mary my Mother
Michael Corsini (artist). Mother of Priests. [Painting]. Retrieved from https://www.michaelcorsini.com/warehouse-open-edition-prints/art_print_products/mary#.
Used with permission from the artist.
"Son, here is your Mother."
“Mother, here is your son."
Our Lady is the kindest of Mothers, one whom we can always try to emulate and celebrate on Mother's Day.
I drew close to Our Lady because I was terrified of God. But honestly I think that's part of the purpose for Christ giving us His Mother. Some people are still afraid to approach Him, even after He came as an infant, performed miracles, suffered, and died for us. But some of those same people are able to approach a gentle mother. And she in turn gently leads them to him.
I went to my first Legion of Mary meeting as a freshman in college, with a bad concussion. For a while, I couldn't do most of the cool works, like nursing home visits, or door to door evangelization. But I could watch the meetings and see how the members acted towards one another. I loved it. It was like a perfect little home comprised of all these people who were unrelated to each other but who had a common purpose: to bridge the gap between souls and the Church, bringing those souls to Christ, in union with Mary.
I only got to be in the Legion of Mary for a few months; I couldn't return to college for my sophomore year due to my parents’ divorce causing utter chaos. My mom was beside herself, all the time. My family members were encouraging her to join online dating sites, and she began seeing other guys as "just friends." My dad, who had said he would take care of all the bills and groceries until the divorce was finalized, lied. It took us a while to figure that out though. Months later, our local sheriff handed me a foreclosure notice; it was obvious that he hated this part of his job. The electric and water were going to be turned off. I explained what had happened and they worked with us, with the help of the St. Vincent de Paul society, to keep them on. And we were regulars at the food pantry. Between all that and divorce hearings, everything tangible and intangible of what I thought of as home was crumbling away beyond my control. My fear of men easily intensified, no longer being able to accept the lie that dad "loved us" because his actions so clearly said otherwise.
During all of this, the thought of the little home I had experienced with the Legion of Mary group at college gave me comfort. However, one day I got a call from my friend and he told me that our college group got merged with the group in town, and moved off campus. It was supposed to be temporary, so the members could better learn the system and spirituality. But it was utterly crushing to me. I needed a home that was stable, even if I couldn't be a part of it.
I made Our Lady a promise: if she could somehow get me back to college, I would do everything in my power to get the Legion back on campus. So I studied the handbook until I just about memorized it. Long, and frankly weird story short, I ended up back at college the next school year.
I went back to college thinking I would be rebuilding the Legion of Mary on campus. What actually happened though was Our Lady and my fellow Legion members rebuilding me and beginning to heal wounds that were very deep.
In the Legion, we say that Our Lady calls the members to join rather than just people arbitrarily deciding to join. Our Lady knew exactly what she was doing when she called our tiny four person group (which eventually expanded) together. I was less than happy about it at the time though. I was the only female member with three guys. One of the guys, Joe, was one of my best friends though, so that made it doable. But I was still very unsure of this, and often complained to Our Lady about it.
Over the next couple of years, our group spent a lot of time together, and as my friend graduated and left, another guy joined, and girl members came and went. But a lot of the time it was me and guys.
Legion members are required to meet for a prayerful meeting that is about an hour and a half long, and then spend two hours with a partner doing a spiritual work (think spiritual works of mercy). There is also added time required of members who become officers. This is a lot of time to get to know your fellow members, and a lot of time for them to get to know you.
My tried and true method of relying solely on myself really didn't have a place within a system that relied on having the members work in pairs.
Instead, over those hours, months, and years, Our Lady slowly and gently laid the groundwork for healing the many wounds I had from childhood. My Legion Brothers were not impressed with me doing things alone or pushing myself until I almost fainted. They would much rather I ask for help and do things together. They'd much rather listen to me talk about the legion system or spirituality with excitement and confidence, than have me apologizing for having to correct something.
In short, the Legion of Mary became for me a place where I was always encouraged to be my authentic self, and not a hodgepodge of coping mechanisms and people pleasing.
I came to see how the guys in my group really mirrored the virtues of Our Lady, and it was amazing. To see these grown men have such a love and devotion to Our Blessed Mother was something that is hard to put into words, but was incredibly healing, especially after what I had experienced with my own father.
I know that Our Lady has a deep maternal love for everyone. She will very gently work to heal any wound that keeps a soul away from Jesus. And she will often work through others who choose to cooperate with God's grace.
I thank God every day for the gift of Mary as my Mother.
[Disclaimer to any fellow Legionary reading this, I didn't use any actual Legion of Mary terms in this article not because our Legion didn't use them, but just for readability for non Legionaries.]
Prayer:
…Confer, O Lord, on us, who serve beneath the standard of Mary, that fullness of faith in You and trust in her, to which it is given to conquer the world. Grant us a lively faith, animated by charity, which will enable us to perform all our actions from the motive of pure love of You, and ever to see You and serve You in our neighbour; a faith, firm and immovable as a rock, through which we shall rest tranquil and steadfast amid the crosses, toils and disappointments of life; a courageous faith which will inspire us to undertake and carry out without hesitation great things for your glory and for the salvation of souls; a faith which will be our … Pillar of Fire - to lead us forth united - to kindle everywhere the fires of divine love - to enlighten those who are in darkness and in the shadow of death - to inflame those who are lukewarm - to bring back life to those who are dead in sin; and which will guide our own feet in the way of peace; so that - the battle of life over - [we] may reassemble, without the loss of any one, in the kingdom of Your love and glory. Amen.
(The above prayer was found on the Legion of Mary’s website here. It has been lightly edited.)
About the Author:
Therese Renae is a pseudonym used per request of the author.
Reflection Questions for Small Groups or Individuals:
How is your relationship with Mary (even if you do not feel you have one)? Do you feel her calling you to be her beloved son or daughter?
Thinking about your parents divorce and the loss of home, how can Mary help you find a new home?
In what ways have you encountered the love of God, through the love of others? Think of the author and her relationship with the Legion of Mary and the St. Vincent de Paul society.
How have you had to rely on others in your life? How has that helped you find your authentic self?