Thank You for Giving Me Hope
Spes (Hoffnung) by Pieter Bruegel d. Ä. (Schöpfer_in der Vorlage) - Albertina, Austria - Public Domain.
Becoming a wife made me keenly aware of the fear and distrust that I had carried with me beyond the many years of being an only child pulled between divorced parents. So, I began tending to these unhealed parts with my spouse, in counseling, through connection to our church community, and by reading books such as Primal Loss and Impossible Marriages Redeemed by Leila Miller, both of which provided much-needed solidarity.
Early into marriage, we excitedly became parents. Moment by moment, day by day, my son was teaching me how to be a mother to him — a unique and unrepeatable being whom I was in utter awe of being entrusted with. I hoped that we could give him a very different childhood than mine. Based on my own remote preparation, the word ‘family’ reminded me of stressful, conditional, fractured and important relationships. During those earliest weeks of cradling my sleeping newborn in my arms, questions surfaced for me, many of which boiled down to this: Having so little modeled for me, how will I become who God intended for me to be as a wife and mother?
The source that kept appearing when I would search for answers was Life-Giving Wounds’ blog. At the time, I was Anglican — somewhere in between one parent’s Protestant faith and the other’s Catholic faith, I thought. As I began to read Life-Giving Wounds’ articles about the sacrament of matrimony, honoring parents, redemptive suffering, growing in virtue, relatable saints, vocations, the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation, and more … hope welled up and newfound admiration was stirred in me for the Catholic Church’s firm anthropology and theology of marriage and family. With more study, prayer, and sacraments, our little family is joyfully Catholic today.
As I gaze at my son, now a few years older, I thank God for bringing us home to Mother Church. And I thank those involved in creating and sustaining the apostolate of Life-Giving Wounds. In this jubilee year of hope, the Holy Spirit continues to use this apostolate’s resources to cultivate my hope in His beautiful design and desires for families, including mine.
Prayer for Families from St. John Paul II
Lord God, from You every family in Heaven and on earth takes its name. Father, You are love and life.
Through Your Son, Jesus Christ, born of woman, and through the Holy Spirit, the fountain of divine charity, grant that every family on earth may become for each successive generation a true shrine of life and love.
Grant that Your grace may guide the thoughts and actions of husbands and wives for the good of their families and of all the families in the world.
Grant that the young may find in the family solid support for their human dignity and for their growth in truth and love.
Grant that love, strengthened by the grace of the sacrament of marriage, may prove mightier than all the weaknesses and trials through which our families sometimes pass.
Through the intercession of the Holy Family of Nazareth, grant that the Church may fruitfully carry out her worldwide mission in the family and through the family.
We ask this of You, Who is life, truth and love with the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
(The above Prayer of John Paul II for families was found online here.)
About the author
The author is a wife, mother, and Life-Giving Wounds retreat alum. She enjoys reading about the saints, spending time outdoors with her children, and having conversation over cappuccinos with her husband.
Reflection Questions for Small Groups or Individuals
What is one way that you have seen the Lord love you in a detailed way through a person or resource he has brought to you as a child of divorce or separation?
What is one way Mother Church has provided hope to you as an adult child of divorce through her teachings?
How has Life-Giving Wounds been able to support you in your faith journey?
Additional Resources
How to Build a Beautiful Marriage Despite Your Struggles as a Daughter of Divorce | Leila Miller (Restored Podcast)
The Paradox of Healing: Life-Giving Wounds and Adult Children of Divorce with Daniel and Bethany Meola (Hope Stories with Sr Josephine Garrett Podcast)
Habits for a Healthy Marriage: A Handbook for Catholic Couples by Richard Fitzgibbons