Unshakable
Unshakable Saints Around the World by Lindsey Sanders (Illustrator) and Meg Hunter-Kilmer, Emmaus Road Publishing, approximately 34 pages
Over the past few years, I have been blessed to experience the healing power of stories—especially in the form of children’s literature. At first, I found I was a touch, embarrassed that, as an adult, I was finding solace in books, such as Anne of Green Gables, a classic children’s story by LM Montgomery about an orphan finding a home and happiness, or the Green Ember series by SD Smith, a middle grade fantasy story about the adventures of anthropomorphized rabbits. I thought that at my age I “should” be tackling books like Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky or the short stories of the great Flanery O’Connor. I even made attempts to read the great novels, but often I found I came away more pessimistic than when I started or else I did not finish them at all.
People always told me growing up that I was mature for my age. At the time I was very proud of that comment and took it as a compliment. I realize now they were really seeing the results of the wounds of my parents’ divorce, which caused me to leave behind the innocence of childhood at too tender an age.
I first came to understand how this was a wound from my parents’ divorce when reading through Dr. Dan and Bethany Meola’s book, Life-Giving Wounds. In Chapter 5, there is a subsection entitled “The Loss of Childhood, Play and Rest.” In it, Dan and Bethany write,
“In the aftermath of their parents’ divorce, many ACODs had to grow up quickly and become what Marquardt calls ‘little adults’...Parents and other adults may have encouraged these behaviors by complimenting the children on how mature, self-reliant and resourceful they were, without seeing their inner discomfort at taking on roles that should have been handled by their parents.” (p. 93-94)
Now, in my adulthood, I am making the time to grieve the loss of my childhood and working on re-learning how to play and rest. I did eventually find peace by embracing my love, and need, for children’s literature, and that acceptance has allowed God to pour joy and childlike wonder back into my heart and soul through these timeless tales of life, love and adventure.
Since the above mentioned experience has been so near and dear to my heart, I was excited to receive a request from Life Giving Wounds to write a book review for Unshakable Saints Around the World, a children’s book of Saints, by Lindsey Sanders (Illustrator) and Meg Hunter-Kilmer. Since I had received so much healing from children’s books already, it made sense to me that a children’s book of Saints would be wonderful for ACODs, both for personal healing, as well as it means for sharing that healing with the children in our lives.
The book contains very short and simple summaries and reflections on the lives of fifteen saints. At the end of the summary, there is a key point about what that saint teaches us (ex: Saint Leopold Mandić, aka Leopold of Castelnuovo, teaches us to love God, even when he does not answer our prayers) and mentions where and when they were born, lived and died. On the opposite page is a lovely illustration of that saint.
The book was published for an intended audience range of ages four to eight so I did not think a traditional intellectual review of the book would be doable or appropriate. Instead, I would like to review the book by sharing three insights I gleaned while reading the book myself and with my three children .
Unshakable.
One of the aspects of the book that struck me most as an ACOD was the title itself. Unshakable is a term I would love to be able to use to describe the foundation of my life, but I have so often felt the opposite to be true. The marital bond is meant to be the unshakable foundation upon which the lives of children are based. It is meant to serve as a sign and symbol of the unshakable love of God for each and every one of us, His beloved children.
I, personally, have no active memories of my parents living in the same house. Even in my earliest memories, my main emotions are fear and abandonment, not safety and security. The foundation of my life has often felt more like quicksand than solid ground. As an adult, I am actively seeking healing and restoration in this area through prayer, community and therapy.
I found the stories of the Saints in Unshakable to speak directly to the tender, frightened place in my heart that often wonders whether, even now, if it is truly possible to live from a place of trust rather than fear. Reading the simplified versions of the stories of Saints like Mary Mackillop who followed Jesus despite being mistreated by many of the people who should have been protecting her, or Leopold Mandić, who had great ambitions (e.g. to promote the union of separated Eastern Christians with the Catholic Church), but humbly accepted the weaknesses he was given, inspired and nourished Hope in the darkest places of my heart.
Even though the stories in the book were written very simply, it ended up being the simplicity itself that helped me connect to the core truth each Saint held as their unshakable foundation in life: they were a son or daughter, accepted and loved by the God who created them.
Although I was not given this truth in its fullness as a child due to my parents’ divorce, accepting it now, little by little, and re-ordering my life according to this truth, is really what is at the heart of healing.
2. The World in which My Children Dwell
The unshakable foundation of God‘s love and acceptance as the main road to healing leads me to my second major take away from the book: my children live and move and have their being in a different world than the one in which I grew up.
Never was this more obvious to me than on the day I finally talked with them about my parents’ divorce.
I knew the day would come when they would finally ask why my mom was not married to my dad. I dreaded the conversation and felt anxious whenever we got near the topic. I thought I would be crushing their innocence and filling their hearts with fear when I explained divorce and annulment.
One day, the time finally came. To my surprise, they were calm and accepting, as I explained, very basically, God‘s plan for marriage (which we had talked about before many times) and how that can sometimes go terribly off track. They were not filled with fear or traumatized, as I so vividly imagined would be the case. Since then we have had many more conversations and will continue to do so on deeper levels as they get older.
It was proposed at one point in conversations about this review that perhaps this book might provide a good gateway for ACODs to talk with their kids about divorce and the instability it caused in their lives by showing examples of how different Saints stayed close to God when faced with their own shaken world and situations. I kept this in mind as I read the stories with my three boys at breakfast. As we went through the stories, I began to realize I did not need to bring up anything directly.
Since they dwell in the safety and security of a good and holy marriage, they did not seem to need such constant and direct instruction as I have needed about the goodness of God and permanency of His Love. Whenever I speak to them about God and love and marriage, it is almost effortless for them to understand—that is due to the fact that they live every day in the Sacramental Graces of the marriage of their parents.
It was a beautiful thing for me to realize. Mind blowing really.
I am not saying I never need to talk to them about God or instruct them in the Faith, I am merely saying that I see in them the fruits of what God intended for marriage and the family.
3. Differences in the Saints
Another point that struck me deeply as I read through the book was how different the lives of the Saints were—and even how, at times, they seem to be teaching seemingly opposite messages.
For instance, St. Josephine Bakhita was born into slavery and fought to be freed, while St. Serapion the Sindonite purposefully sold himself into slavery multiple times! So while each Saint was unshakable in their adherence to following God‘s will, the actions they took to do so varied widely.
Personally, I found this fact to be very consoling. One of the deepest wounds I incurred as a result of my parents divorce is an obsession with people pleasing, and this often extends to wanting to please God by perfectly following His Will.
In these instances, my ACOD wounds pile onto my OCD/scrupulosity, creating doubt, confusion, panic, and fear. The stories of the various unshakable Saints prove to be a balm for this wound, reminding me gently of God‘s love for his children in all their ways and in all their choices.
This revelation was one that has stayed with me, and been brought to mind repeatedly as I try to navigate God‘s will for my life, with all my unique choices, traits, weaknesses, and yes, even wounds.
Overall, reviewing the sweet little children’s book of Saints was a work of joy and love. I feel blessed to have been asked to complete this project and share some of the blessings I have received as a result. I pray that you will be blessed by these reflections. I pray you will be encouraged in the unshakable reality of God‘s Fatherly, tender love for you, His beloved son or daughter. I pray you will be filled with grace and with the knowledge of His desire to restore you to a place of healing and wholeness, whatever twist and turns may lie behind or before you.
Prayer: Litany of Saints (from the Saints discussed in Unshakable)
St. Josephine Bakhita, Pray for us!
St. John Colubus, Pray for us!
St. Leopold Mandić, Pray for us!
St. Mary Mackillop, Pray for us!
St. Oscar Romero, Pray for us!
Bl. Ana of the Angels Monteagudo, Pray for us!
St. Margaret of Castello, Pray for us!
Bl. Peter Donders, Pray for us!
St. Rafqa Pietra Choboq Ar-Rayes, Pray for us!
St. Monica, Pray for us!
Bl. Nicholas Bunkerd Kitbamrung, Pray for us!
St. Columba of Iona, Pray for us!
St. Katherine Drexel, Pray for us!
St. Serapion the Sindonite, Pray for us!
St. Teresa of Calcutta, Pray for us!
All you Holy Saints of God, Pray for us!
About the author:
Stephanie is a wife and mother of three boys. She and her family live in Pennsylvania. Her husband works for their local parish and she homeschools their boys. She likes reading, watching documentaries, playing board/card games and going for walks without her phone.
Reflection Questions for Small Groups or Individuals
Which Saints have helped you on your healing journey? Which Saint stories are you familiar with that speak to virtues you aspire to?
What are some other ways you can talk about your parents’ divorce with others, particularly children?
How can books, such as Unshakable, be aids and tools for your healing journey?
Healing happens when we journey together.
If Stephanie’s reflection resonated with you, consider joining a Life-Giving Wounds retreat or support group this fall. You do not have to carry the darkness alone.
Together, we can walk into the light.