Having a Devotion to Our Lady of Sorrows as an ACOD
Pietà by Morales, Luis de, zis Il Divino (școala lui) - National Museum of Art of Romania, Romania - CC BY-SA.
As adult children of divorce who come from broken homes and ruptured families, we have been profoundly wounded. The marriage and unity of our parents has been shattered by the devastation of divorce. Our need for both of our parents present and raising us together in the same home has not been met. In our sorrows and wounds, we need a loving and caring mother who is unconditionally loving and gentle. We need a mother who is always there to pray and intercede for us. We have that in Mary, the Mother of our Savior. She is the Mother of God and the Queen of Heaven and Earth. She is also your mother. She is constantly praying and interceding for her children in the Church here upon earth. We are in need of this kind of unconditional maternal love and care. Miraculously, we have it from Our Lady to whom her Son has entrusted humanity to her care. She is always there whenever we call upon her to lovingly pray and intercede for us. Her maternal intercession is incredibly powerful.
The sorrows of Our Lady are beyond what we in our fallen humanity will ever know. She was there to watch her own Son die! Mary witnessed Jesus being beaten, mocked, and tortured. She was with Jesus as He carried His cross. She witnessed Him be nailed to the cross as He was hung and left there to die. The prophecy of Simeon predicted that “a sword shall pierce her heart.” (Luke 2:35) A part of Mary’s obedience as the handmaid of the Lord to be the Mother of God was to be with Him in His sorrows and sufferings. She never left her Son’s side. She was with Him even unto His last breath and afterwards when Mary received His Body in her arms before He was buried in the tomb. This was a part of Mary’s fiat, and how she does God’s will perfectly. She willingly suffered with her Son and was with Him the entire time. Mary stands with us in our sorrows and sufferings, just as she did with her Son. She will pray and intercede for us the minute we call upon her. She will take everything we give to her over to her Son. We can give her our broken pieces, and Our Lord and the intercession of Our Lady will make beautiful things out of the remnants.
Between the years of 1981-1989, Our Lady of Kibeho appeared to three young school girls in Rwanda with the loving message of the rosary of her seven sorrows. She referred to herself as “Nynia wa Jambo,” meaning “Mother of the Word.” She gave the children messages on the importance of prayer, humility, repentance, and offering your sufferings to our Lord. Our Lady gave these young girls in Rwanda the rosary of her seven sorrows, telling her to spread this great message throughout the whole world.
The Seven Sorrows Rosary is a chaplet prayer that commemorates the seven sorrows of Mary. Each sequence on a seven sorrows rosary has seven beads instead of ten, and there are seven sets of beads, instead of five on a typical rosary. Throughout the devotion we meditate on the maternal sorrows and sufferings of Mary that she lived through as the Mother of God. This is a devotion that I would highly recommend as an ACOD. I have personally found healing from my own familiar wounds in pondering the heart of Mary as my mother and the unthinkable sorrows that Our Lady suffered through meditating on her seven sorrows. We need her maternal love as we find healing from our broken family woundedness. One curious and surprising thing that I have personally found in taking to praying the chaplet of the Seven Sorrows is that certain wounds of mine were unveiled and some of my own sorrows came to light for me. God reveals only to heal. Our hidden wounds will only be healed once they are brought to our attention and we handle them in a healthy way. Our Lord and Our Lady are with us in our sufferings and Jesus and His mother want to be our healing and our hope.
Facing our parental and familiar wounds is always a painful experience. I have particularly found it challenging when my wounds that affect me today force me to look back on my childhood and adolescence and relive the past when all I want to do is move forward and forget about it. That has only buried these wounds and made them come out in other and unhealthy ways. Healing is necessary for us to love well as Jesus does and for us to live our lives to the abundance that He calls us to (John 10:10). Part of that involves facing our wounds and acknowledging them. But we have to do it with Jesus and His mother. They are both with us in our sufferings and in our healing journey. Jesus is calling you. His mother is summoning you to her Son. Will you take her hand?
Prayer: Excerpt from the Seven Sorrows Rosary
Beloved Mother, who has suffered so much, give to us your courageous heart. Please pray for us to have strength so that we can be brave like you and accept with love the suffering God sends our way. Help us to also accept all the suffering we inflict upon ourselves and the suffering inflicted upon us by others. Heavenly Mother, you, in union with Jesus, purify our suffering so that we may give glory to God and save our souls. Amen
(Find the full text of the Seven Sorrows Rosary at the end of this article.)
About the author:
Isabel is an adult child of divorce from Northern California in her midtwenties. Her parents divorced when she was eleven. She is currently studying to become a bilingual translator after having spent the first half of this year living in Spain. She is also passionate about using her writing talent to serve the Kingdom and is grateful to have found Life-Giving Wounds Ministries. In her free time, she can be found on a run, reading a new book, trying a new recipe, or enjoying an iced latte year round while engaging in meaningful conversation.
Reflection Questions for Small Groups or Individuals:
Have you encountered Our Lady of Sorrows? Do you feel led to encounter her?
How do you feel Our Lady of Sorrows speaking to you, as an ACOD?
Have you meditated/prayed with the Seven Sorrows Rosary? Try it again now. What stirs in your heart?
How has Our Lady helped you in your healing journey as an ACOD?
Which Marian devotions have been healing and fruitful for you in your journey?
Pray the Seven Sorrows Rosary
Begin
In the name of The Father, and The Son, and The Holy Spirit. Amen.Pray
My God, I offer You this Rosary for Your glory, so I can honor your Holy Mother, the Blessed Virgin, so I can share and meditate upon her suffering. I humbly beg you to give me true repentance for all my sins. Give me wisdom and humility, so that I may receive all the indulgences contained in this prayer.
O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended You, and I detest all my sins because I dread the loss of Heaven and the pains of hell; but most of all because they offend You, my God, You Who are all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of Your grace, to confess my sins, to do penance, and to amend my life. Amen.Say 3 Hail Mary’s.
Hail, Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.Pray
Most Merciful Mother, remind us always about the Sorrows of your Son, Jesus.The First Sword of Sorrow: The Prophecy of Simeon
Luke 2:34-35
And Simeon blessed them and said to Mary his mother, “Behold, this child is destined for the fall and rise of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be contradicted (and you yourself a sword will pierce) so that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed”.Pray
Beloved Mother Mary, whose Heart suffered beyond bearing because of us, teach us to suffer with you and with love, and to accept all the suffering God deems it necessary to send our way. Let us suffer, and may our suffering be known to God only, like yours and that of Jesus. Do not let us show our suffering to the world, so it will matter more and be used to atone for the sins of the world. You, Mother, who suffered with the Savior of the world, we offer you our suffering, and the suffering of the world, because we are your children. Join those sorrows to your own and to those of the Lord Jesus Christ, then offer them to God the Father. You are a Mother greater than all.
Now, pray 1 Our Father and 7 Hail Marys.
Most Merciful Mother, remind us always about the Sorrows of your Son, Jesus.The Second Sword of Sorrow: The Flight Into Egypt
Matthew 2:13-14
When they had departed, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, “Rise, take the child and his mother, flee to Egypt, and stay there until I tell you. Herod is going to search for the child to destroy him.” Joseph rose and took the child and his mother by night and departed for Egypt.Pray
Beloved Mother, who has suffered so much, give to us your courageous heart. Please pray for us to have strength so that we can be brave like you and accept with love the suffering God sends our way. Help us to also accept all the suffering we inflict upon ourselves and the suffering inflicted upon us by others. Heavenly Mother, you, in union with Jesus, purify our suffering so that we may give glory to God and save our souls.
Now, pray 1 Our Father and 7 Hail Marys.
Most Merciful Mother, remind us always about the Sorrows of your Son, Jesus.The Third Sword of Sorrow: The Loss of Jesus in the Temple
Luke 2:43-45
After they had completed its days, as they were returning, the boy Jesus remained behind in Jerusalem, but his parents did not know it. Thinking that he was in the caravan, they journeyed for a day and looked for him among their relatives and acquaintances, but not finding him, they returned to Jerusalem to look for him.Pray
Beloved Mother, teach us to accept all our sufferings because of our sins and to atone for the sins of the whole world.
Now, pray 1 Our Father and 7 Hail Marys.
Most Merciful Mother, remind us always about the Sorrows of your Son, Jesus.The Fourth Sword of Sorrow: Mary Meets Jesus on His Way to Calvary
Luke 23:27-29
A large crowd of people followed Jesus, including many women who mourned and lamented him. Jesus turned to them and said, “Daughters of Jerusalem, do not weep for me; weep instead for yourselves and for your children, for indeed, the days are coming when people will say, ‘Blessed are the barren, the wombs that never bore and the breasts that never nursed’.Pray
Beloved Mother, so stricken with grief, help us to bear our own suffering with courage and love so that we may relieve your Sorrowful Heart and that of Jesus. In doing so, may we give glory to God Who gave you and Jesus to humanity. As you suffered, teach us to suffer silently and patiently. Grant unto us the grace of loving God in everything. O Mother of Sorrows, most afflicted of all mothers, have mercy on the sinners of the whole world.
Now, pray 1 Our Father and 7 Hail Marys.
Most Merciful Mother, remind us always about the Sorrows of your Son, Jesus.The Fifth Sword of Sorrow: Mary Stands at the Foot of the Cross
John 19:25-27
Standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary of Magdala. When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple there whom he loved, he said to his mother, “Woman, behold, your son.” Then he said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother.” And from that hour the disciple took her into his home.Pray
Beloved Mother, Queen of the Martyrs, give us the courage you had in all your sufferings so that we may unite our sufferings with yours and give glory to God. Help us follow all His commandments and those of the Church so that Our Lord’s sacrifice will not be in vain, and all sinners in the world will be saved.
Now, pray 1 Our Father and 7 Hail Marys.
Most Merciful Mother, remind us always about the Sorrows of your Son, Jesus.The Sixth Sword of Sorrow: Jesus is Taken Down From the Cross
John 19:32-34
So the soldiers came and broke the legs of the first and then of the other one who was crucified with Jesus. But when they came to Jesus and saw that he was already dead, they did not break his legs, but one soldier thrust his lance into his side, and immediately blood and water flowed out.Pray
We thank you, Beloved Mother, for your courage as you stood beneath your dying Child to comfort Him on the Cross. As our Savior drew His last breath, you became a wonderful Mother to all of us; you became the Blessed Mother of the world. We know that you love us more than our own earthly parents do. We implore you to be our advocate before the Throne of Mercy and Grace so that we can truly become your children. We thank you for Jesus, our Savior and Redeemer, and we thank Jesus for giving you to us. Please pray for us, Mother.
Now, pray 1 Our Father and 7 Hail Marys.
Most Merciful Mother, remind us always about the Sorrows of your Son, Jesus.The Seventh Sword of Sorrow: The Burial of Jesus
John 19:41-42
Now in the place where he had been crucified there was a garden, and in the garden a new tomb, in which no one had yet been buried. So they laid Jesus there because of the Jewish preparation day; for the tomb was close by.Pray
Most Beloved Mother, whose beauty surpasses that of all mothers, Mother of Mercy, Mother of Jesus, and Mother to us all, we are your children and we place all our trust in you. Teach us to see God in all things and all situations, even our sufferings. Help us to understand the importance of suffering, and also to know the purpose of our suffering as God had intended it.
You yourself were conceived and born without sin, were preserved from sin, yet you suffered more than anybody else. You accepted suffering and pain with love and with unsurpassed courage. You stood by your Son from the time He was arrested until He died. You suffered along with Him, felt His every pain and torment. You accomplished the Will of God the Father; and according to His will, you have become our Mother.
We beg you, dear Mother, to teach us to do as Jesus did. Teach us to accept our cross courageously. We trust you, most Merciful Mother, so teach us to sacrifice for all the sinners in the world. Help us to follow in your Son’s footsteps, and even to be willing to lay down our lives for others.
Now, pray 1 Our Father and 7 Hail Marys.
Most Merciful Mother, remind us always about the Sorrows of your Son, Jesus.Closing Prayer
Queen of Martyrs, your heart suffered so much. I beg you, by the merits of the tears you shed in these terrible and sorrowful times, to obtain for me and all the sinners of the world the grace of complete sincerity and repentance. Amen.
Mary, who was conceived without sin and who suffered for us, pray for us. (Pray 3x)
In the name of The Father, and The Son, and The Holy Spirit. Amen.
(The text of the above prayer was found on the Hallow website here, and is reprinted here with their permission.)
Healing happens when we journey together.
If Isabel’s reflection resonated with you, consider joining a Life-Giving Wounds retreat or support group this fall. You do not have to carry the darkness alone.
Together, we can walk into the light.