I often forget I was once a child
So fragile in a large world
I wore tiny clothes
And dresses that twirled
I often forget what a whole home is like
Held hands around a table
Space to come undone in
A family that is stable 

When I try to think back to my earliest memory, the images that come to mind are not usually something I am excited to remember or share. I see myself as a very little girl (maybe 2? The age at which my dad left?), sitting on the loveseat in our living room, looking out the window….waiting…watching…hoping he shows up…but utterly expectant of the coming disappointment. 

All of us at Life-Giving Wounds were thrilled to launch a chapter in Denver this May! We held a three-day retreat high in the Rocky Mountains May 7-9, with thirty-seven retreatants and a fabulous team of ten from Denver and four of us on the traveling retreat team, from the DC area.

Here are five of my personal takeaways from the retreat weekend:

Oftentimes adult children of divorce feel abandoned by one parent even if that parent was still active in their lives. These feelings of abandonment, or the experience of actually being abandoned, stay with us. ... Each incident reinforces for us what we already think about ourselves: People will always leave us, and we are unlovable.

I went to my first Legion of Mary meeting as a freshman in college... I loved it. It was like a perfect little home comprised of all these people who were unrelated to each other but who had a common purpose...I only got to be in the Legion of Mary for a few months; I couldn't return to college for my sophomore year due to my parents’ divorce causing utter chaos.

...I must say that the book was fascinating to read as part of a small group of children of divorce. It’s a heavy lift - a bit long and at times very dark - but it was both validating and eye-opening. If you are considering reading this book yourself, we suggest that you also read a spiritual text alongside it as well, and take time to pray after the heavier sections.

Spiritual direction is the means to seek and grow closer to God by helping you discover in your life the presence of God and the motions of your God-given counselor, the Holy Spirit. When meeting with your spiritual director, the presence of the Holy Spirit will be part of your session. (An image with three chairs in a circle is a symbol of spiritual direction.)

In 2018, we founded a peer-based outreach to help adult children of divorce — like Dan — find deeper healing for the wounds caused by their family’s breakdown. Both from Dan’s own experience and from walking alongside hundreds of adult children of divorce, we’ve seen some consistent “habits of healing” that can help people move forward from this difficult experience into greater peace and joy.

The Diary is fascinating as a record of St. Faustina’s spiritual journey and the origins of the Divine Mercy devotion... Especially relevant to children of divorce, perhaps, are the words of Jesus to the suffering soul: “Tell me about everything, be sincere in dealing with Me, reveal all the wounds of your heart. I will heal them, and your suffering will become a source of your sanctification.”